Why I'm Coming Home

Since the news of my impending departure has officially been announced, I have had numerous people approach me and question what prompts my move back to the sunny state of Arizona. Initially my move to the east coast was supposed to be a five-month long stint at best. Well, five months became a year, which became another year.

I had been toying with the idea of moving back to AZ... pretty much since I moved to NY, I just didn't have a reason to pack my suitcase and go back. It was nice to experience a different part of the country (NYC is like another culture in itself), and it almost felt surreal-- like I was "living the life" that a lot of people wish they could try out. But I just couldn't shake this feeling of sadness that I had-- a feeling of loneliness that would occasionally occupy my body for weeks at a time. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me.

My perspective on things started to change once I started working at an adolescent shelter about a year ago. The kind of kids that come in here (as big a pains as they are) are some of the strongest, brightest, and best kids I have ever met. They have been through so much and they are still living. I've had kids who were abused by their parents, raped in foster care, in the midst of an eating disorder, trying to escape the gang life, or trying to escape their pimp.

I've had kids who come in with absolutely no idea what the next step in their life will be. They have no idea where they are going to go, or who will take care of them. I have sat with sick kids in the hospital. I've listened to their problems and fears and hopes and goals. I have had kids whose parents have no legal rights to them anymore. Kids without any family to love them, to talk to them, to feed them, and to keep them safe.

When I went home for my family reunion, it hit me. I had all that HERE-- in AZ, with my family. The "thing" I was waiting to find in NY to make me feel more secure was not there at all, but on the other side of the country. I realized I was practically giving up what most of the kids in the shelter are so desperately fighting for.

I have learned so much from my interactions with so many teenagers. The kids have taught me patience, understanding, and resiliency. But the most important lesson they have shared is to fight to be with the people you love. And that's what I am going to do.

Big News!

Hi Everyone,
It's been a while. For some time, I had to hide my blog because I had a stalker, but they appear to be gone and therefore this blog is now active. Now, time for the BIG NEWS: I'm relocating! The time has come for me to depart from the east coast and come back to my home state of Arizona.

Everything is in its preliminary stages, but a tentative departure date has been set for September 17th. I have a lot to do before the big move and it will be quite an adventure. Because I still have 2 years left on the lease for Albus (my car) I will be driving across the country with all my stuff. According to google maps that will take approximately 40 hours to drive from Harrison, NY to Kingman, AZ-- 2,506 miles.

Don't worry, I'll only be in Kingman for a short time and will then continue my journey down to Phoenix AKA The Surface of the Sun to find a job and housing. New York has been great but I'm so ready to start this new chapter in my life! It's gonna be great!

We Met At the Walmart

I know the Walmart has its perks-- like cheap candy and brownie mix and flip flops in 500 colors, but I didn't know it was a place to pick up your next date. Let me explain:

My sister and I went to Walmart to get a Wii Remote (apparently you need more than one to do anything productive...), then we found the $5 movie bin/shelf (favorite!), so casually we start looking around when a guy walks up behind my sister and asks if she has seen the Cheech and Chong (?) movie that was in front of her. The conversation goes as follows (and most of this is direct quote)

Boy: You smoke weed?

Girl: I used to but not anymore.

Boy: Are you going to start up again?

Girl: No.

Boy: That sucks.

[[RED FLAG #1-- a guy that starts a conversation off asking about your drug use and inferring to his own cannot be good news]]

Boy: Have you seen Half-Baked?

Girl: No.

Boy: It's about getting high. It's BEEP hilarious, it's like my favorite

Girl: Oh okay.

[[RED FLAG #2-- a guy who's favorite movie has to do with illegal drug use cannot be good news]]

Boy: You have a boyfriend?

Girl: No.

Boy: Are you married?

Girl: No.

**Interjection by baffled, yet smarter older sister "Are you really trying to pick my sister up at the Walmart. That's classy...** (He ignored me btw)

[[RED FLAG #3-- a guy who ignores the smarter, older sister who is trying to watch out for her little sister cannot be good news]]

Boy: What are you doing tomorrow?

Girl: I have court.

Boy: Is your judge McCoy?

Girl: Yeah, how'd you know?

Boy: I just got out of jail a few days ago.

[[RED FLAGS #4 AND #5-- a guy who not only knows the names of the judges downtown but ALSO just got out of jail himself CANNOT be good news]]

Girl: What did you do?

Boy: Threatening and intimidation and then I got in trouble in jail for breaking a sprinkler.

[[RED FLAG #6-- Do I REALLY need to explain?]]

**Interjection by still baffled and appalled older sister, "We have to go... like now."

Boy: Can I get your phone number?

Girl: Actually just give me yours and I will text you

Boy: I don't have a phone

Girl: Oh...

Boy: Do you have a paper and pen and I'll get yours?

Girl: No.

Boy walks to cashier to request said items

**Interjection by older sister-- "Hurry he's not looking, let's go."

Girl to big sister: I'm giving him my disconnected number.

Sister: Ok.

Boy comes back and girl gives fake number. Sister and girl leave ASAP. Boy follows to say:

"Oh my name is James, call you tomorrow."

[Red Flag #7-- a guy who tries to pick you up at Walmart in the first place cannot be good news]

End scene.

Okay, so I know I'm in Kingman and Kingman is pretty well known for its trashy people and the low average number of teeth per person (common joke: It's only called a toothbrush in Kingman because everywhere else it'd have to be called a teethbrush...) but picking up chicks at the Walmart is not cute. It's even more "not cute" if you happen to have just been released from lockup. AND... who throws that in the first pick up conversation anyhow?

Pick up line: Girl, you's was all up in my mind when I was doing 30 days behinds bars for not being able to control my anger.

Anyway, this baffled older sister was very much reminded as to why she got the hell out of Kingman and why she'd never move back... ever. Thanks James.

Apparently I'm REAL cheap!

It's in between classes right now. I just got done with a midterm and have another one to go. Being hungry, I went and bought some Oreos from the vending machine. A DOLLAR FIFTY for Oreos... what the heck? That's like a quarter per cookie! I mean Oreos are good...but really?

Minding my own business, I sat in the far end of the lobby as not to disturb anyone with my cookie crunching or runny nose and listened to a conversation that happened not far away from me. The topic? Purses.

Expensive purses. Louis, Coach, some other ones that I haven't heard of.

These girls with their Brooklyn accents, carried on about how much their purses cost and how much they mean to them. One complained about how the new Coach bags are not as high quality as the old. (OM Angst)! As they continued their conversations, the numbers started dropping. $500, $400, $600, etc.

Then one chimed in and with great strength, gulped and admitted she paid $1400 for one purse. A PURSE! $1400. What the f? I nearly choked on my damn cookie. Not only would $1400 pay for nearly 1.5 credits of a graduate class, you know what I could buy with $1400?

I could buy: 1/2 a trip to Europe, 100 CD's (or more!), a Wii with accessories, a multitude of new clothing, and maybe even a pony! I can't imagine wasting it on something that holds my money. I almost cried when I had to pay $20 for a wallet... I had no money to put in it after I bought it.

I just couldn't pay that much money for a handbag. I mean, they don't even taste good. I'm just going to go buy some more cheap $1.50 cookies.

Some things do shock me...

So, we all know that I work at two different residential treatment centers. They are private centers so tuition costs quite the pretty penny. Most the girls we get do come from well-to-do families and then there are some who come from "my nanny and maid use to do that" families.
Two different situations have occurred lately that have made me stop and shake my head and wonder did their parents really think they were doing them a favor?

Situation One:
Scene: The staff follows the 17 year old female student into the bathroom to show her where the rolls of toilet paper are after discovering that a bathroom dispenser was empty. The student takes the single roll of Charmin and goes over by the toilet, she looks confused.

Student: (continues to look puzzled) What do I do with it?

Staff: (raises eyebrows) You put it on the roll...

Student: (genuinely worried) How? I've never done this before.

Okay, stop scene. Let me first say, these were not complex toilet paper rolls-- they did not require keys, nor were they anything more than you would find in your own personal bathroom. After teaching a 17 year old how to replace a roll of toilet paper, I realized I had it way too hard growing up ;) *(This girl had also never swept, mopped, washed dishes, vacuumed, or taken out the trash before among other things)*

Situation Two:
Scene: Staff requests 13 year old female student fill up the empty ice tray that lay abandoned on the stove. Student confidently takes the tray and fills it with water and then walks to the refrigerator.

Student: So all I have to do is put it in the freezer?

Staff: Yes...

Student: And it will make ice?

Staff: Yes, water in the freezer turns to ice.

Student: That's so weird.

Okay, stop scene again. REALLY?! Putting water in the freezer to make ice is weird? Come on now, we learned that in pre-school if not before. Obviously, her parents never had her do the manual labor of filling up ice trays to make ice. She was use to pressing a button and having ice cubes come out of the door *(Oh, and she added-- "there was a button for crushed ice too")*

I guess there was really no point to this blog besides to find some small ounce of humor and disbelief in the lives of spoiled yet troubled teenage girls.